Tidbits from Lauttasaari

Hm. Did a personality test. Turns out I am a Teacher Idealist (eNFj) The test shows that the group i belong to^, The Idealists , called Teachers are abstract in their thought and speech, cooperative in their style of achieving goals, and directive and extraverted in their interpersonal relations. The full text on this group, which i found amusing, partly true, and quite interesting to read, is at keirsey . What type are you?

Walking in a forest is such a relaxing thing to do. Yes, i agree it depends on the forest, the season, the weather etc. I have some quite specific memories and even people in my idea of forest walks. To be enveloped by trees, wind, sounds, green like that can be very soothing for a scarred soul. It may come off as slightly new ageish, needing a place to worship, but i dont think that is what i am trying to say here. The stillness, the slow time in the trees growing, the rustling in the leaves, the colours and smells all bring me back, and away. Could be considered escapism i suppose, but a benign such. See more progress on: walk in a forest

To learn how to trust another person is really tough. It is so easy to reserve your judgement, selfpreservation tells us to save a tiny little bit of ourselves, just in case. With trust i here mean you go asll the way. Equívalent of trusting somebody with your life. This might be a bad analogy, however, as you might well be able to trust a lot of people in extreme situations, but you would not tell these same people your innemost secrets. There is a kind of release and perverse joy in baring yourself like that, and yet, to me that is what the concept trust implies. I tell myself and others that in the final analysis we can never trust anyone. Is this really true though? In bleak moments of despair i feel convinced it is. More often i tend to doubt, and that is the state i find myself in most of the time. I am willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. Because, if there really is such a thing as trust in the above mentioned sense of the word, it would be like finding faith. Actually i...

and it is a flow. just stop thinking to much and simply do it. it sounds contrite and naive, yet it is true. Often i would really not like to do somthing, but i bite my teeth and chomp through it. I feel very good afterwards. See more progress on: get things done

i found myself in our attic. It wasnt me who started it, but sooner than you would think we had it under control, and a lot of junk was made redundant. Good feeling! See more progress on: clean out the attic

Great, i have been taking much more photos the last three months again. True, it is not one per day as in my new year resolution, i simply does not have the stomach for it, but i think about what i see a lot more, and in bursts of extra energy i do take more pictures. And that is a very very good feeling. It Feels good enough fo me to remove this from my wish list, even though this, as so many others of my entries are not easily crossed out, as they by nature are continous. Well, what dod you do? See more progress on: Take more pictures

Incredible. Partly thanks to 43things, i have gotten some things done. I was, like always, overly enthusiastic about this new service when i first started using it, being active daily, logging in constantly, adding entries, and mostly polishing my list of 43 things i want to do. Then the familliar slope occured, and as a result i haven’t been in for ages. Now, coming back (this is my second attempt to get 43 things into my everyday lifr again) i do notice that some things have actually changed, and for the better. I have even been bold enought to submit a first draft of my final paper for the university degree that i have had dormant for years. It is a combination of several things, but regardless, i feel good about it. See more progress on: finish my degree

Two hours skating on the ice, my cheeks are glowing red. It feels so healthy. And the setting was just perfect. Almost the whole class of Leo, including the teacher. We were 41 in total, skating in the beautiful and crisp evening, minus 7, no wind, half moon. And how we skated! It was the hockey game that drew most attention, parents vs the kids. After almost two hours play the result was announced, the kids won 18-16. And we all went home. Great feeling.

Speeding around Europe like a rocket, i am sometimes dizzy with impressions. And try as i might, i do not feel able to digest and process them, even though i would like to. I find some consolation in all these travels, it is comforting to see things still going on everywhere, life as usual. I have perhaps become dependent on moving around. That is, as long as i can manage to avoid hotel living. There is something about hotel rooms. One time i actually liked it, now they keep me sleepless. I zap through bad tv, i turn in my bed, i am too restless to sleep, i seldom feel rested. Why is that?

well now, every day is not a literal thing. Small steps at a time, as my friend Isabel from Spain always keep saying. And to say7 something for the sake of it, well i confess to doing that a lot. But, oh well i was so much older then. Had so many answers. Were so angry. Now i hope there are still things i DO want to say. Hence this blog. Cheerio. Smile! -J

The white lady came by and wrapped us all in her white sheets. the wind is howling, temperature's dropping, we are heading straight into it. Long dark days with a heave grey overclouded sky, unnatural the way it sucks away all color. No wonder i would like to eat candy all the time, or eat greasy food, or drink. Stimulations desperately needed.

The new year has started well. You know what happened? One day during the christmas holidays i rose up from the sofa, and began doing all those things i thought i should have done the last year but somehow never got around to. I stopped procrastrinating, and just just like that! It was a moment that created flow, and you know what? It keeps going! I made some attempts at new year resolutions, and so far i have held them all. True, it is not far into the new year again, but i can't be bothered, To me this is such an amazing thing. all of a sudden i just seem to get things done. Not like i didn't before, but this is different. i get the hard to do things done, not just the mandatory and the fun ones. and, yeah, i thought i would blog daily, at least something, during 2006, to feel it out. Haven't so far, but this is a start. Have fun out there!! -J

Goddamn this weather. Something aint right with weather like this. Sky has darkened to a menacing silver grey, forget daylight. Sleet rushes by horisontally. No, something's wrong here.

Blogging alone you know, like in that famous report on declining voluntary work and the downfall of associations in the US, bowling alone... It's always been like this. It is a one way story, not at all a place or a way to build a true community. I write, you read (or you don't). Sure, you can comment, but that's not the point. Since finding gmail i have been blogging for an audience of one. And i get as much as i give. So it's fair trade. Over here, as a result, i find myself less and less often. In this case, the medium is not the message. The message is what happens inside you, reading this, and what you subsequently do as a result. Yeahm I know, tlak about superficial problem in a world looking like this. Well, what can i say? It's real to me. Anyway, it is vare late, or very early, depending, and i have no sleep in me. Ergo i go here. Let this be my sleeping pill...

HotDamn! Bang on the money !

Oh, if i could write like that. joyous envy. Who IS this Gretowska? Sure, perhaps it is the late hour influencing me, or the soft alluring music permeating my brain cells. The combination of clarity, absolute self-confessional, witty humor and acute, sharp senses makes for ajoyable reading. Wow!

It suddenly strikes me. Murakami and Auster are modern day Hemingways'. Both write short, sharp prose Hemingway style, but with the allussion to something deeper. The seemingly mundane is hinting at something hidden. The naivistic story line can drive you crazy with exasperation, frantically looking for the subtext you feel convinced is in there. More often than not you do not find it, but the promise remains. And keeps you reading. Perhaps the mystery is really simple too, and it is all about the search, that keeps you curious and open minded. I don't know for sure. That's the whole point.

Rain, wind, dark clouds. Feeling like in Mordor. The menacing grey of these dark clouds bring ill tidings to the shire. Seldom have we been so rattled, and i don't recall seing it rain upwards before.

I read the obituary of Felix Forsman. Another great man gone. It makes me sad.

Sigh. Nope, wont have the dough to spend for a bike, even with 30% winter season discount. Dunno, maybe i am fooling myself, thinking that i would get more exercise with a bike that has gears, and a decent seat. Well… I will dream on… See more progress on: get a new bike